it wasn’t a conscious choice at first, but somewhere in the last few weeks i decided to take a break from it all. i guess when we got back from europe and i had a photoshoot that didn’t go well logistically it put me in a funk. i started spinning a bit, and i sort of started questioning what the hell im even doing. i’ve been sort of pushing and pushing to get my photography side business going and i needed to really think through my motivations and goals again. is this really what i want to be doing with my time? my energy? and why?

what i’m starting to come to grips with is that i’ve reached a certain plateau with my work and its a comfortable place to be. i think i might be just on the cusp of being a true professional, and if i am being completely honest about it, that scares me a bit. because in the niche im in, im good enough as i am. but i need to be better if i want to level up. and the means i need to know things i don’t even know i need to know yet.

the great thing about this blogging thing is that it forces me to confront these things so i can deal with them and forge ahead. and that is what im going to do. forge ahead. today is the first day of a new month, and im using it as an arbitrary timestamp for my reentry into the digital world. i have a ton of shit to write about, so let’s get back into it.