ok long title for this post but i feel like it is a big enough topic to warrant all the bit words.

i have been talking about getting a drone for travel for almost a year now. i used nai’s dji mavic air in iceland and had just enough time with it to know i wanted more. i came close to buying a drone for black friday last november but nima and nai talked me down. i am glad they did. nima and i talked about it and finally settled on a plan to buy the new drone this month using our travel credit card - chase sapphire reserve - which comes with a purchase protection plan that basically covers any and all loss of the drone. so if i fly it out over the water and it never comes home, i can report a claim and basically get reimbursed for the cost of the drone. if it is stolen, same thing. basically it is a win win because the worst thing that will happen is that i might lose some footage and be out a memory card.

so effectively i went from being so excited and emotionally driven by my desire to own a drone to being totally logical about it. and now that i have it, i have barely spent any time with it. this is partly because i am worried i will do something stupid and crash it before we even leave - the skies are pretty crowded with trees, buildings and wires. but i can’t help but wonder if i am less enthused about the whole drownership thing now that i have one.

ok let’s not get crazy. i am actually super excited about flying my drone as we travel, and seriously can’t wait to see what sort of pictures and video i will be able to capture with it. but the thought has crossed my mind - both before and after i bought the drone - that maybe i am putting too much priority on toys and possessions lately. i am caught in between the desire to live minimalistically and the urge to participate in the latest and greatest that our society has to offer.

i think that part of what i am going through is the attributable to my own state of flux as i transition from being focused on one set of goals to another, moving from one phase of life to the next. i still have certain holdover tendencies from my past life that include buying whatever toy i am fancying at the moment. and those are now being tempered by the experience i have gained over the past few years that gives me evidence of the value of not always giving in to those urges; i know from experience now that the by not valuing my money enough to hold on to some of it, i am showing that i don’t value myself or my time. and i know that the fulfillment and excitement of a new toy begins to wane and depreciate the moment it is unboxed.

i also know that without the excitement of expectations, i would find my life rather dull. i would get bored if i didn’t have some goal or thing that i am working toward, chipping away at, or saving my money for. so as much as it is important for me to temper my tendencies, it is even more important to turn them toward a greater purpose. rather than focusing on useless inanities or things that will only bring me fulfillment for a few moments, days, weeks or months, i am better off using restraint for long enough to build my resources to the point that i can leverage them for a much bigger nut.

no matter what i do, it will be temporary. but i am starting to understand that i want to value myself enough to invest my time and energy into things that will have an impact that lasts longer than the amount of time i spent wanting them.